Reasons: Establishing the Tone

...I will reason as with men in days of old, and I will show unto you my strong reasoning. Wherefore, hearken ye together and let me show unto you even my wisdom--the wisdom of him whom ye say is the God of Enoch, and his brethren.... Wherefore, hearken and I will reason with you, and I will speak unto you and prophesy, as unto men in days of old.
-- Doctrine and Covenants 45: 1-11, 15

To immerse yourself in a subject is a dangerous thing, especially when that subject is a part of your core belief systems. To strive to understand such a subject in depth can often lead to a de-mystification process, a debunking of myths, an all out re-ordering of your world view and precious beliefs. However, it can also lead to deepening understanding; a more mature and seasoned perspective; a soulful engagement, a deeper love. Both sides of the spectrum have defined my relationship with my faith in Mormonism (what I consider the Restored Gospel of Christ) the past several years. An "agony and ecstasy" of putting aside cultural imperfections, while entwining myself like ivy even more to the trunk of the tree.

This blog is coming out of me as a response to the struggles of my friends and loved ones who have wrestled with the Mormon faith. Some were born in the Church, but have since left it quietly. Some have left the Church, and then turned fiercely against it. Some stay within the Church, but struggle in silent desperation as they try to find a way to keep alive or re-kindle their old belief, despite what they may see as contradictions or hypocrisies. Some investigated the Church because of an initial interest or spiritual experience, but then for one reason or another lost that momentum. Some are strongly believing members who simply struggle with some doctrine or policy, while others have never had anything but an antagonistic relationship to the Church. I hope to engage with many people within this wide spectrum of experience. I don't expect to entirely convince everyone of my believer's perspective, but I do believe that I'm equipped to at least start a deeper dialogue about Mormonism, whether one chooses to believe it or not. Thus I have created this blog to engage those who have some sort of relationship to Mormonism and desire to understand the perspective of a believer, even if they are essentially not a believer themselves. Whether one is an orthodox Latter-day Saint, a secular atheist, an Evangelical, a Muslim, a member of an off shoot of Mormonism, an inactive Mormon (or a former one), a neo-pagan, or anything else, I hope that one could find something of value from understanding the world view of this believing Mormon.

This is not necessarily a proselyting blog (although I certainly wouldn't mind if people came to embrace Mormonism more fully because of it either). Yet I do hope that it will at least help people understand why an academically minded, intelligent, compassionate, tolerant and spiritual person might believe in the Book of Mormon, Joseph Smith and the "restored Gospel," without relegating such a person to a member of a deranged cult or under the influence of a misguided delusion. I've strived to immerse myself in Church History, doctrine, culture, art and spirituality the past several years and have had to encounter for myself the difficulties and glories of being a Mormon. So I'm coming from a relatively informed position, having had to discard many of my more simplistic models of Mormonism. This, I believe, has deepened my faith, while still giving me room to understand and empathize with those who do not believe.

I don't plan to sugar coat any of my entries... this is as much of a journey as an explanation, a chronicle of struggles as well as a declaration of belief. As a playwright, as an amateur Mormon Historian, as a inquisitive mind, and as an intense spiritual seeker, I've had to ask myself the hard questions to center myself as a faithful Mormon. The intricasies of Church History, of former practices such as racial exclusion or polygamy, of current controversies, or of personal heartaches, are not new or superficial subject matter to me. Anyone who has seen my plays knows that I do not shy away from difficult questions. However, in the end, I believe that God answers the difficult questions, which, in the end, is why I'm a believer.

In this blog, I will chronicle that belief. Many of the entries will be more academic, while others will be intensely personal and spiritual. I will talk about books, history, culture, art, dreams and what I consider to be intimately spiritual manifestations. What I may write about may make some people uncomfortable. What I may write about may make people think that I'm absolutely, raving mad. But I'm going to take that risk. Because if I can at least bring some understanding to the WHY of my belief, then I will feel a certain level of accomplishment. I hope that my position will be respected, as I've tried to respect the positions of others. So I hope all comments and dialogue will remain civil, kind and engaging. Contention is not what I want from this, but rather a manifestation of my faith. In the end I think we all hope to be understood:

For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom receiveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light; mercy hath compassion on mercy and claimeth her own...
--Doctrine and Covenant 88:40